Neil Tambe

Husband, Father, Citizen, Professional.

I'm a Detroiter who happens to enjoy writing, national parks, orange juice, the performing arts, and fanciful socks. More than anything though, I aspire to be a good husband, father, and citizen.


Today, was my first informal lesson in "game". Sure, I've had chats with buddies about game and some anecdotal accounts of technique. But a friend of mine really knows his stuff. And, he imparted some of his wisdom, findings and challenges to me.

Which is helpful. I don't have much "game", at the very least the "game" I do have isn't traditional or particularly effective for someone in their early to mid twenties. I was an eager student.

But, it's a shame that we need game--don't naively thing that we don't--in the first place. Why? Because its essential to get the attention of the person we're interested in. We need to meet people--men or women, depending on your preference--and that takes effort. Beyond that, we REALLY need game, though because everyone else is engaging in competitive behavior.

By competing eachother we accelerate the need to advance our own interests. If we do not engage in game, we will be consumed by others playing the game. If a guy doesn't "game" at a bar, someone else will try to sweep away a woman he's eyeing and comingling doesn't really happen spontaneously at bars. (Sometimes I think that people enjoy engaging in this semi-competitive behavior, but that's a different story). Basically, if you don't play the're more of less out of luck.

It's not unacceptable, but it's essentially a selfish behavior, i think. To get the attention of someone else, you have to take and be a little bit selfish.

But, as I often come back to, selfish behavior doesn't have to rule our interactions if nobody is selfish. In other words, if nobody else is acting selfishly, you don't have to.

I think this applies to game as well. If people are just being honest and making intentions clearly, there would be no reason to "game". It'd probably be simpler and probably easier. I'd say the risk involved with "gaming" is just about as severe as the risk of just being honest, though honest migh tbe a little bit tougher to bear because if you blow it being honest, there's no other recourse or place to deposit blame.

So overall -
"Game is selfish"
It doesn't have to be because if nobody does it, then theres no reason for game.
So, why "game" when you can just be honest.

It gets complicated, I think, but I think the answer here is a simple one. Don't be selfish. If most people don't act so selfishly, our social intearactions would be much different.

Gosh, I shouldn't write when I'm exhausted.