I realized this week that a lot of my stress, at work at least, is self-imposed. When faced with a challenge, I automatically start preparing (and agonizing) over what I’ll say when I have to own up to not meeting expectations.
Upon further inquiry, I think it’s because I lack confidence. But why? Why is it that in some parts of my life I feel like a hapless subjugate and in others I feel like I’ve got it on lock?
Does it depend on context? Does it depend on the people around me and whether they are kind or cruel? Is it all in my head? Is confidence all a performance anyway?
Im not even sure what question to ask. What’s frustrating is that I’ve worked really hard in my life on hard stuff, and I’m not an idiot (mostly). How am I in this frame of mind?