The emotional nausea of everyday goodbyes
I never have liked leaving Robyn’s side, even to go into another room for an extended period of time. Perhaps it’s because our relationship became a medium-distance one, for two years, after our first three months. Or because my father spent over 10 years of his life working out of state. Probably both.
I didn’t expect it to become exponentially harder when we had Bo. Saying goodbye to them when I head to work, or they are going somewhere, is the worst. The sadness is not acute, it just lingers for a minute. It’s like a bout of emotional nausea, that you have to experience everyday.
It’s odd because I know, cognitively, that it’s incredibly normal and that we won’t be apart for long. I’m not afraid one of us won’t return, though I try not to take that for granted. I just really don’t like how it feels and it doesn’t get easier. It’s a weird emotion, that I’m guessing a lot of people feel, but is probably so forgettable that nobody ever really thinks to talk about it.
I’m grateful, though, that the joy of coming home, is 10x more joyous than saying goodbye is sad. One of life’s makeup calls, I suppose.