Neil Tambe

I'm a Detroiter who happens to enjoy writing, national parks, orange juice, the performing arts, and fanciful socks. More than anything though, I aspire to be a good husband, father, and citizen.

Moving on from work-related resentment

I’ve already spent too much of my life angry, anxious, or ashamed about work. It’s time to move on. The best way I know to move on is to forgive.

I don’t know who “you” are in all instances, but I forgive you. I forgive you for the late nights away from home. I forgive you for the bogus deadlines and useless meetings. I forgive you for treating me with less respect because of my age, role, or race. I forgive you for the implicit threats of public shaming and demerits. 

I forgive you for making me believe career was an idol to be worshipped. I forgive you for pushing me past my breaking point. I forgive you for giving me work that didn’t have any real value. I forgive you for constantly changing the plan. I forgive you for making me feel foolish, small, and sometimes without worth.

I forgive you for misleading the client. I forgive you for holding the team to unreasonable expectations. I forgive you for pandering to the boss at the cost of our weekends. I forgive you for the flight delays. 

I forgive you for lying through your teeth at recruitment events. I forgive you for thinking I was soft. I forgive you for pressuring me to be someone I’m not. I forgive you for laying off my Pops, who was an honest man, a hard worker, and a damn good engineer.  

I forgive you for making me lust after a bigger paycheck. I forgive you for inflating my ego. I forgive you for implying that I was fooling myself about the data. I forgive you for making me miss bedtime, so many times.  

I forgive you for taking credit for someone else’s work. I forgive you for throwing me under the bus, even though I never did you wrong. I forgive you for messing up my check. I forgive you for my MBA debt. 

Most of all, I forgive you for taking my joy from me, over and over again. I’m grateful that you let me have it back, eventually.

I’ve been in the workforce for 10 years, and I’ve had a difficult relationship with American work culture the whole way. I’m tired of fighting you and being angry. This is the best way I could think of to start moving on. 

Whoever you are, wherever you are, I forgive you.