Neil Tambe

I'm a Detroiter who happens to enjoy writing, national parks, orange juice, the performing arts, and fanciful socks. More than anything though, I aspire to be a good husband, father, and citizen.

Indicators of a good man

For over two years now, I’ve been trying to explore what it means to be a good man. My supreme goal as a father is to help our kids become good people and the best way I know to do that is become a good person myself and be present in their lives. 

There are a lot of little rules of what a good person does - like saying please and thank you, sharing, and keeping promises - but those rules of thumb leave me unsatisfied. There are way too many rules to follow  

So I’ve been trying to reflect on a set of capabilities, rather than “skills”, that really identify whether or not I am a good man.  

The best I’ve come up with so far are truth, sacrifice, and unconditional love.

I figure if I am capable of being truthful to myself and others, able to put the needs of others on par with or above my own, and consistently love others without conditions, that’s a pretty good indicator that I’m living out my desire to be a good man. 

And imagine a world where we all were even a little more truthful, willing to sacrifice, and unconditionally loving. So many of the problems we try to remediate with government and institutions would cease to exist. 

The older I get, the more I believe that the route for true social impact is not through what I choose to do for a job, but through how I improve my own character and help others do the same.