Neil Tambe

I'm a Detroiter who happens to enjoy writing, national parks, orange juice, the performing arts, and fanciful socks. More than anything though, I aspire to be a good husband, father, and citizen.

A Reflection Tool: Highs and Lows

Every night (almost) at dinner, Robyn and I talk about highs, lows, and proud moments.

Heres how it works: 

  • One us asks - “What we’re your highs, lows, and proud moments?” 
  • That persons shares
  • Then we switch

This is a nice ritual for us for a few reasons: 

  • We catch up on the day
  • We get to read each other’s emotional state and energy
  • We get to vent if we need to and move on
  • We get to cherish life’s sweet but little moments

But more than anything it’s a lens into our values and a check to ensure that we’re not valuing the wrong things.  

For example, if I said my proud moment is “I made a lot of money today”, I’m revealing something about what I’m valuing. I’m forcing myself to say it out loud and acknowledge it.

And in that moment, I can correct myself and choose to find a different moment to be proud of that aligns with my true values instead of society’s. And that course correction retrains my brain on what I want to and should be proud of.

It’s a great reflection practice that’s very effective, but very quick and easy.  

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