Neil Tambe

Husband, Father, Citizen, Professional.

I'm a Detroiter who happens to enjoy writing, national parks, orange juice, the performing arts, and fanciful socks. More than anything though, I aspire to be a good husband, father, and citizen.

I don’t need to be special

I don’t need you to give me special treatment. I don’t need you to pronounce my name correctly. I don’t need you to hold the door for me or even smile as you walk by.

I don’t need you to give me preferential college admissions or pay me dollar-for-dollar the same as the next person. I don’t even need you to stop asking if I’m “a doctor or in IT, right?”

I don’t need you to realize that the white woman walking next to me is my wife. I don’t need you to do me a solid with the restaurant manager. I don’t need you to let me into the golf and tennis club. If it’s easier, you can keep assuming that that Indian person you met really does look just like me. You can keep believing yoga is all about “working out” if it suits you.

I don’t need a political party to pay attention to my individual needs. I don’t need a candidate to look like me, either. I don’t need you to understand the tenets of Hinduism or my complex spiritual upbringing.

I don’t need you to give me a trigger warning. I don’t need you to sugar coat the truth. Even though it would be fun, you don’t have to invite me to your party or get to know me and my individual story.

All these things would be nice, but I don’t need to be treated specially. What I would like is to be treated with respect and decency. And if we disagree, I’d like to resolve it peacefully.

If you could do that, it would be enough for me.

On September 30, I will stop posting blog updates on Facebook. If you’d like email updates from me once a week with new posts, please leave me your address or pick up the RSS feed.