Life’s biggest decision: who you marry
Let’s stop pretending the biggest decision in life is what college you go to or what job you land. The real make-or-break decision? Who you marry.
In our family, this isn’t just a saying—it’s a foundational belief. Marriage isn’t one big day. It’s a lifelong choice that shapes your character, your children, your capacity to thrive, and your joy.
That means preparing our kids to answer four questions—really well:
Can they be a good spouse?
Do they act with integrity, love unconditionally, and make real sacrifices when it counts?Can they choose a good partner?
Do they know how to recognize integrity, unconditional love, and sacrificial character in someone else?Can they build a strong marriage?
When adversity hits, will they turn toward their partner instead of away—and grow stronger together?Can they support a family?
Can they generate enough income to meet their needs—and live with humble tastes, rather than chase status or excess?
Our entire education system is built around Question #4—economic self-sufficiency. Ironically, I’d argue it’s the least important trait when it comes to marrying well. So for the most important decision of their lives, our kids are left to learn from us, extended family, or maybe their friends—if they’re lucky.
That means the real curriculum—the one that actually shapes their future—is what we model and teach at home:
Things like integrity, love, and sacrifice. Like courage. Also self-awareness, discernment, communication, understanding, and leadership.
And yes—literacy. Because reading is how they’ll keep teaching themselves long after we’re done.
We do our kids a disservice in America because we act like holding down a job is the most important thing a person should be prepared to do. It’s not.
Believing that sells life short—and discounts the value of love, meaning, and human connection.
What we emphasize in America misses the point and leaves our kids unprepared to make the most important decision of their lives well.
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