I’ll Pay You to Lie to Me

When the used car salesman says "you're getting a great deal on a great car."

When the politician gives the rousing speech at a rally saying "the problem isn't you, it's them, you don't have to make sacrifices."

When the project manager tells the executive "the project is on time and in budget - nothing to worry about."

When the marketer tells the parent, "buy this and your kids will be healthy and happy."

All these times are when we - the customer, the client, the citizen - want to be lied to. So they lie to us, because that's what we want from them.

We pay them for it. Hell, sometimes we're desperate for it. We demand that they let the ruse continue, because it's more comfortable that way. And it gives us someone to yell at and "hold accountable" as we hide from responsibility.

Budgeting makes this real. When I budgeted loosely as a twenty-year-old, I drained my money at the bar. When I got YNAB, a great budgeting tool, it became a lot harder to lie about money to myself. When my budget was honest, it was very uncomfortable but it changed my behavior.

When I really saw how expensive childcare, food, gas, and home renovations were, I became my dad real quick. I didn't buy new clothes until they had holes. We ate out much less. My subscription of cool, guy stuff? Canceled.

Or there was the time I hired a contractor who repaved our driveway. He gave me a great price and promised timely service, with high-end steel rebar to stabilize the concrete. Exactly what I wanted to hear - and I didn't even research whether what he proposed even made sense.

But then, he used the same lower grade wire mesh as the other quotes I got, did sloppy work, and took an extra three days to complete the job. I paid him to lie to me, and he happily obliged by taking my money and doing less than he promised.

I often blame those lying salesmen or those corrupt people, or the incompetent professional, or the greedy marketer for my problems and the world's problems alike. But if my behavior insists upon, rewards, or even begs people to lie to me, the real problem is me.

We should not expect change, if we pay people to lie to us and then blame them for our problems.